Tag Archives: relationship

Rearranging Design 1

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I just wanted to see what it looked like to have a more vertical second page to match the first page but I still think I prefer the way that the pictures work in a lengthways three.

I’ve also taken out two pictures that I thought could potentially be replaced by pictures I was considering. I think this picture story creates more of a narrative but I prefer the two pictures I’ve taken out to these. The question is whether this narrative is strong enough that the compromise is worth it.

This story opens with ‘Me in You, You in Me’, which tells us that the story is about the unconditional love between father and son. The detail of the tattoo also suggests that there is a story behind their relationship, without telling us too much – (hopefully just enough to make you want to turn the page!)

On the second page it is suggested that Paul has picked up Joshua and they are walking together happily into town where they get some food from McDonalds. They then go to Paul’s flat where they will spend the evening, have bath time and an intimate embrace as the day comes to an end. The story then finishes with the absence of Joshua.

If I were to use the other selection the story would be more about the relationship between father and son rather than a linear narrative of the weekend. Either can work, I just need to figure out what is more interesting and how I can write the story for it.

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Highlighting possible establishing images for page one of a 2x double page spread

Highlighting possible establishing images for page one of a 2x double page spread

Red: Stand-alone establishing shots
Green: Two establishing shots together

The idea behind the establishing shot(s) is that they inform you as to what the story is about whilst tempting you to continue looking and reading. This means they need to be visually strong as well as informative.

The stand-alone establishing shots show the closeness between father and son. They are precious candid moments that stir emotion and therefore (hopefully) tempt the reader to look further.

The two images that I think could work together I think are strong images but alone they are not particularly informative. With a clever headline linking the two pictures, it could work although I have a feeling I will end up preferring the simplicity of one strong image.

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Second editorial feature design: Stage One

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I’ve been working on three stories and have been waiting to see how each turns out to decide which I want to use in order to create my second editorial feature.

I’ve decided to use my story about life as a part-time Dad for a brief that was entitled Fragile. Paul see’s his five year old son Joshua every other weekend. I spent one weekend with them to document their relationship and to try and capture the more tender moments between father and son and to also try and capture Joshua’s absense within Paul’s life.

As the shoot was fairly successful I have a number of pictures that I could potentially use in a photo story. So my first task is to decide how many pictures I want to use and to narrow my edit down.

I think I’ll start by looking at some editorials that use more images on the page to see how this can be achieved and to try and get an idea of how many pictures I can use realistically.

 The rules:

Unlike the first double page spread, this design is to be formed from one of our two 5 picture stories we have been working on in another module.

It can be digital or analogue and there are no constraints on the design. We have ben urged to shoot FOR the editorial, i.e. negative space for text. Although I’m not a fan of writing over images in editorial as a very loose rule, I did bare this in mind for this shoot.

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Main content: before and after.

As mentioned in the previous post, I had written the story of Longevity around Christmas time for a publication in 205dpi magazine. When piecing the imagery and words together for myself, it became clearer to me that I needed to make some changes.

I had never explained mine and my father’s relationship to Hugh and Jean, and referring to my family as ‘the Romer’s…’ suggests that I am not one of them. I think this is because I started writing the story in third person and soon realise that I didn’t have a story without talking more personally about it.

It’s easy to forget that the person reading has no idea about the story and although I got three people that I consider better than me at English to proof read it, they all knew my relationship with Hugh and Jean and therefore also didn’t pick up on the fact I hadn’t included it in my story – it was already assumed.

There are other tweaks I have made, just for the sake of improving the writing and the explanation. I found that when I tried to add additional pieces of description, I was disrupting the flow of the reading but hopefully the subtle changes I’ve made are improvements if anything.

Before

Hugh Romer, 91 has lived at Mortlake Road in Kew for most of his lifetime. He and his wife Jean will be the last of the Romer’s to occupy the family house.

During countless visits over years past, it was always clear to me that Hugh was the dominant spouse. This was partly because of Jean’s mental disability, which resulted in electroshock treatment during her forties, to which Hugh is confident that the hospital most certainly “overdid it”.

Hugh would not only take charge of the house but being a former engineer for the BBC, he would gladly attend to any necessary maintenance, whether it meant repairing years of damage caused from stick bombs during the war or channeling rain water from the roof to flow collectively into the garden pond.

He would lead my father and me with Jean by his side around the grand Victorian house, telling us tales about my father’s Great-great relatives through photographs and portrait paintings that still hang in the hallway. He would then take us into the garden and unveil evidence of my Grandfather’s zoological fascination as a boy, which would eventually lead to his dedicated career.

In 2009, Hugh suffered from kidney failure and was unwilling to make repeated trips to hospital for dialysis. He has since been diagnosed with dementia, which is now at its advanced stages.

Today, they are both bedroom bound. Jean will answer the door to regular visits from day carers, who take notes on the their condition.

Their bedroom is filled with memories, of which neither recall, and flowers, which wilt unnoticed.

The house remains unchanged since 2009 but it is cold and dark now. Their electric blankets and a small fan heater keep them warm. The light beyond the window keeps them awake, until it fades and then they sleep.

After

Hugh and Jean Romer are both in their nineties and have recently celebrated their golden wedding anniversary. He and Jean are the third generation to occupy our family house, and they will be the last.

My father visits his Uncle Hugh often, and I do when I can. We both admire them and are saddened for them as they enter their last days together; and as a house once rich with memories is reduced to wclosed doors and dark halls.

During countless visits over years past, it was always clear to me that Hugh was the dominant spouse. This was partly because of Jean’s mental health condition, which resulted in electroshock treatment during her forties, to which Hugh is confident that the hospital “most certainly overdid it”.

Hugh would not only take charge of the house but being a former engineer for the BBC, he would gladly attend to all the necessary maintenance, whether it meant repairing years of damage caused by stick bombs during the war or channeling rain water from the roof to flow collectively into the garden pond.

He would lead my father and me with Jean by his side around the grand Victorian house, telling us stories about my father’s great-great relatives through photographs and portrait paintings that still hang in the hallway. The on to the garden, where Hugh would unveil evidence of my Grandfather’s zoological fascination as a boy, which would eventually lead to his dedicated career.

In 2009, Hugh suffered from kidney failure and was unwilling to make repeated trips to hospital for dialysis. He has since been diagnosed with dementia, which is now at its advanced stages.

Although they are mostly bedroom bound, Jean uses her stair-lift to answer the door to carers, who take notes on the their condition.

Their bedroom is filled with memories, of which neither recall, and flowers, which wilt unnoticed.

The house remains unchanged since 2009 but it is cold and dark now. Their electric blankets and a small fan heater keep them warm. The light beyond the window keeps them awake, until it fades and then they sleep.

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